


Settling In

by SilverWolf7



Series: Gabriel's Recovery [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: And someone had to mention it to Gabriel, Because none of these boys are fine, Caring Castiel, Episode Related, Episode: s13e20 Unfinished Business, Feelings, Gabriel Has Issues, Gabriel in the Men of Letters Bunker, Gen, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 13:47:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14450556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverWolf7/pseuds/SilverWolf7
Summary: Castiel helps Gabriel 'settle in'.





	Settling In

**Author's Note:**

> So, anyone else want to let Gabriel know it's okay to not be fine?

He had wanted to follow Sam and see his room, because last time he had been in here his mind hadn’t been focusing on anything much other than fear. And he was over that now. Well, sort of over it. He can think now anyway.

But Sam and Dean wandered over to the library, while he ended up being herded slightly by Castiel back to the room where he had written his story all over the walls. He shuddered at the thought. He would have to get rid of them the moment his Grace was replenished. The constant reminder of what he had been like the last time he was in here was getting to him.

Castiel took the seat by the bed Sam had brought in before. “I am glad you decided to help us, brother,” Castiel stated in his deep, deadpan voice.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “I’m not doing it for you, Castiel. I’m doing it because I made a deal and I plan on honoring this one.”

Castiel tilted his head. He had forgotten how cute the fledglings looked like when they did that. Castiel was bringing back memories he’d rather not have.

“Do you feel better now?” He was asked and Gabriel froze, because no. No he didn’t.

“I’m fine, bro.”

Castiel stared at him unblinking for a few long seconds which made him squirm on his bed. “I had my Grace stolen once. There was none left to replenish either. I was drained dry to the point of actually being human. I had no one to help me. I had to figure out everything on my own. I know...I know how much it hurts to have your very being taken from you and used against your will.”

Gabriel couldn’t stop his eyebrows from raising in surprise. “Really?” he asked, sarcasm heavy in his voice. “Because you look like an angel to me. Hell, you’re probably stronger than I am right now. And ain’t that just embarrassing.”

Castiel looked away, before sighing heavily. “You are angry. You have every right to be.”

Punching the bed, Gabriel slid off the side to stand up and glared at his little brother. “No, I don’t. I thought...I thought if I just killed them all, it would help. Get revenge and the anger should go away. The fear and the loneliness and the emptiness will disappear. Because that’s how I feel right now, Castiel. Empty. I have no idea how those two idiots out there do it? How do you keep on just pretending to be fine when you’re not? Because it’s exhausting and I’m just...I’m tired of everything.”

The anger he had been trying to hold onto because feeling anything was better than the giant hole of emptiness inside of him drained out of him so fast, he had to grab the bed so he didn’t hit the floor. And he was suddenly being helped to lie down by a fussy Seraph. 

“We say we are fine when we are not so to avoid worrying others. None of us are fine. Sam still suffers from what Lucifer did to him and it isn’t helped by Lucifer being out of the cage right now. And Dean feels like everything is his fault. It’s why he is trying to rush everything. And I feel like I am an accessory. To be used and discarded when the task is done.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes, before closing them, pulling a pillow on the bed to his chest to hug. “Great. So one more screwed up being in a bunker full of screw ups. How charming. I feel right at home.”

Castiel was silent for a few seconds, before he heard him walking to the door and opening it. “Get some rest. You do look tired.”

Gabriel hummed in agreement to that, because he truly was.

Too bad the tired he was couldn’t be fixed by sleep and he didn’t know how much time he had left, because he felt like this battle was the one that would kill him for real.

Right then, he didn’t even care about that.

He had no idea who or what he was any longer...


End file.
